People are always fussing about time: lost time, wasted time, misused time. There are the ones who know, they will cherish the memories of their current actions, forever. Examining every detail before maneuvering all things according to their likings, not wasting a second to be mourned upon. Then we have those who let it slip out of their hands, unaware that it is like a wave of water; the flow that has passed, will never ever come again. They think, if they refuse to scrutinize their mundane activities, affected by lethargy, they might be able to undermine time’s power, not caring about the sorrowful despair that will indubitably hit them later in the years.
Now the question is, which one of both the kinds, lead a genuinely content life? Does a person only has two choices: either to live in the moment or think before every step? The sad thing is, it is possible to stick with both the formulas and still at the end, the smile is gone, and cheeks are wet.
Martin Wittman knew there was a third type. People who have the misconception that once they have spent all their time flying above everyone else, no power on Earth could ever cut off their wings. However, when the high is over and they are out of breath, there’s no soft cushion, filled with appeasing results of so-called satisfied decisions, waiting for them to fall on; but an abysmal depth full of regrets. Exactly how Martin would describe the life he had spent.
“Mr. Wittman, your breakfast is ready!” A female voice brought Martin out of the plethora of random thoughts; he was often apt to get lost in.
He turned around, to find his young caretaker, waiting for a reply. Her hair was done in a neat bun, not having a single hair out of place, as for her dress, it was proper professional. On top of it, her salary was enough to have a fake smile plastered on her face at all hours.
“Give me a minute Celia, I’ll be there. Thankyou!” Martin’s response had no emotions in them whatsoever. His speech had been like that for a little while now; reserved. Each thing in his life somehow felt rehearsed, with no change in cast or set.
He went back to staring at the view, the balcony on the first floor allowed. He was unable to stand there for hours like he used to, not since the accident. But every morning he would still let the railing handle his body weight for a few minutes, as he watched the spectacular arrangement of flowers, trees, and grass below him, while the house workers meandered in and out, reminiscing about the days when his greed kept him running on the stairs of success, completely unapologetic of his fickle nature and ruthless behavior.
Martin had always adored the color forest green, thus when he finally bought this huge mansion, he turned the backyard into a garden that looked like a piece right out of heaven, and it had quickly become his pride and joy. Now he felt nothing close to those emotions when he had no one, but these materials left to look at with empty eyes, the ones he gave more importance to than any living human being. Every immaculate and stellar piece in his supposed utopia stared back at him like they were attempting to sardonically smile.
“Might as well enjoy the food.” With a sigh, he muttered, walking towards the dining room after temporarily shaking off the miserable thoughts, that lived in his mind rent free.
————
Then
Martin Wittman was an enigma, a riddle, every woman thought she could solve and a paradox that left each man mystified, making them respect the new king in the business.
Aria was beyond delighted; the first time Martin gave her the time of his day. It wasn’t as if she had any lack of admirers, there were always eyes on her glorious self as she glided through the room with confidence oozing from her with every step.
Being the picture-perfect socialite was quite tiring sometimes, no matter how much her father encouraged her to mingle with the crowd of their class. She came from a background where money was always the priority and humane emotions were never to be found. Yet she believed there will be an escape someday, that Martin Wittman will be the start of her fairy tale. She was simply unbeknownst to the fact that there were several others before her, used just as another step of the ladder.
When her father introduced them in a charity event, she was naïve enough to fall for those charming eyes. When he asked her to dinner, it felt like all her dreams were finally going to come true.
The same couldn’t be said for Martin. Growing up in an environment, where he was looked down at for his appearance and status on a daily basis, he had promised himself at a fairly young age, that he would clean himself of the ashes and rise like a phoenix. He had achieved more than anyone in his age could ever claim, still his efforts and time were being spent to expand his business, so he could flourish in front of those, who had held him in disdain.
His mind was programmed to take every decision, approach every route, making sure for it to result in triumph beyond anyone’s imagination; the sky didn’t have a limit and the ground wasn’t impressive enough for him to keep standing on.
Martin knew Jarvis Black was a stubborn man and convincing him would be an exhausting task. His constant denial to seal the deal, Martin had been putting forwards for months, was rather jarring. Not that it was ever going to make him detour, Martin was always up for a challenge. It was exactly what he needed for his company at the time, and Mr. Black’s obstinate determination to decline his offer, was beginning to cause a sizable hindrance in his plans. Until he met Aria Black.
She was no doubt a sight to be painted with colors out of this world. It was a shame Martin had ulterior motives, but at the time, he couldn’t give one less of a care. He had goals and ambitions, with no time to feel bad for the people he had to walk over, to achieve them. And that girl made it so easy for him to do so, not that she was the first one to be rendered sightless of the real reasons, hiding behind the seemingly genuine smile.
Jarvis Black was no amateur; he had drained all his energy to maintain the magnificent empire that had been passed on to him after relentless efforts of the previous generations. But even the strong-willed, old men are powerless after becoming the target of their children’s solicitations. Ultimately, it was inevitable to give into his beloved daughter’s pleas.
Thus, Martin was not greatly astounded, when Jarvis called him, just after two months of being with her daughter, and said; “Swing by my office tomorrow, we will talk about your proposal. You are a good kid; Aria talks about you a lot. Don’t let me down.”
Martin tried not to think much about his last words and proceeded to celebrate his victory. People were disposable and nobody was an exception, no matter how pretty or loyal. He lived by the rule: one must learn to crush the obstacles on their way, before they get crushed themselves.
————
Now
For a while, Martin wasn’t curtain if that rule of his was what anyone would call assertive behavior, or he was just being a bit of an asshole. Thinking about it now, he was positive, it was undoubtedly just him being completely despicable, deserving nothing but contempt.
Every weekend, Celia brought him at the lake near his summer house, as per his request. He had always been in awe of the way the sun casted its shadow on the serene water. When he was younger and still thirsty for power, it was his favorite place to spend his hours in tranquility. Not that the peaceful environment ever did anything to clean his avaricious mind, or he wouldn’t be there today, only with the person he paid to stay.
He didn’t remember ever bringing any of his conquests there – he probably never cherished someone enough to do so – expect for the day when he took Aria there for a stroll after days of nagging. Sometimes he wonders why she trusted him in the first place, when all he ever did was ignore her, always intending to use and throw away. Maybe it is true when people says love blinds us. But who was the real winner at the end? Aria, who was living the life of retirement with her doting husband and three grandchildren, or the high-powered Martin, who was still standing in front of the lake, all by himself.
As a child, every time he complained about their lack of resources, his mother would answer with a smile; brighter than the stars, that wealth didn’t matter, that they all had each other and that was everything. He would scoff, looking at the grand villa his mother worked at, thinking that if he lived in a place like that, he would be ecstatic, even alone. Now with his multiple mansions and extraordinary cars, he understood, why his mother insisted.
Martin’s heart was ladened with rue, some regrets worse than the others. Maybe if he hadn’t hurt Aria so badly, he might had someone to love him for life, if he hadn’t disregard his parents’ teachings, he might had be living in a small home with a family, but an actual home, not just a house. And only if he hadn’t cast aside his blood, his son, when he was too busy climbing above everyone else, he might still had someone to care about him.
Martin didn’t see William until a week after his birth, too busy with a client who had traveled all the way from Europe to work with him. Martin never fought for his custody, letting his mother keep him full time. He made sure, all his needs were met, not wanting his son to long for the things he did, as a child. But that was not what William wanted, he demanded his time, the one thing Martin always had a lack of. Sometimes he indulged him, other times, he would leave him to the abundance of caretakers he had hired for him. With time, William Wittman learned to stop waiting for his father by the door for that one dinner in a week.
The last time Martin had heard from him was two years ago, when he called William to congratulate on his wedding which he wasn’t invited to. William accepted it in the same formal tone, his father always conversed him with, making Martin realize, he was his own person now, who was done waiting for his father and done wanting his father.
“Mr. Wittman, I think its’s about to rain, shall we head back?” Celia asked in a low voice, looking at the sky where a blanket of clouds had completely concealed the sun from their vision.
Martin titled his head, giving the lake one last wistful smile, before standing up.
“Yeah Celia, take me back to the house.”
————
Then
“What the fuck is this?”
Martin was busy going through some files, in his soundless office, located on the seventh floor of the glass building, when the door burst open, and in came Nicola, exuding rage and furry, startling the man.
“Are you out of your mind? Why the hell would you do this to me?” She continued yelling, gesturing towards the pictures, she had just thrown on his table.
Peeking a look at them, Martin was reminded of his night at the company party, a few days ago.
“This is me with Alicia Knightly.” He said calmly, picking up a picture, where both of them were looking fairly cozy.
“I can see that!” She huffed, “why were you with her?” Her pitch was still the same, as she tried to settle her emotions.
“You know how it is darling, it’s all business.” He said, giving the most nonchalant shrug.
“You can’t keep doing this to me, I am tired of your crap. We are going to have a child together!” Her anger was turning into grave disappointment. When he kept looking at her unimpressed, like her performance wasn’t climactic enough, she carried on, “I love you, Martin!”
“Yeah? Get in line, sweetheart!” He scoffed, laying back on his rocking chair, threading a hand through his hair. He seemed like he was just waiting for her to leave, like he couldn’t give less of a damn about the situation, like it was a usual occurring and things like that happened every week.
Nicola marched back aur forth from one side of the room to another, pinching her forehead, all the while Martin kept his gaze on the wall clock. “You promised me,” she started in a small voice, stopping in the middle of the room, “you said we will built a life together, a home, where we can raise our child. You promised Martin!”
“Well, you are not the first one, are you my dear? I said the same to Aria and Elizabeth and twenty others.” He rolled his eyes, collecting the pictures, intending to throw them in the bin under the table. “You are not special Nicola, there is always a shinier diamond in the shop.”
She slumped down on the chair in front of the table, “so that’s it then? You never really have real affection for anyone. We are all just chess pieces to you, and you decide which one to use when.”
“You don’t get where I am and where I still want to be, having destructive emotions like love and care. People come and go, and I need to do what I do to build this empire.” His calm demeanor slipped as the intensity of his tone raised.
“And when does it end?” Nicola shook her head in disbelief, “is it ever going to be enough? How much more could a person want? I get it that you….”
“No, you don’t get it!” He nearly screamed, standing up from his chair, “when you have to struggle for basic necessities while others are having extravagant dinners, that’s when you realize that if you don’t fight for yourself, no one else will. You have to put yourself first, that’s how this life works; you either crush them or you get crushed yourself!”
“Martin, there are other ways to succeed without having to be this cruel and cold-blooded. If you keep disposing off people like trash, someday there will be no one left around you.”
“As if!” He huffed, settling back down on his throne, “no one’s leaving, there’s no need to worry for what’s to come. Right now, I am aware of the decisions that need to be made, and that’s enough.” He smiled smugly, going back to his conceited self.
“You are a bastard Martin! Karma is going to hit you so bad. While everyone around you celebrates their 70th birthday with their grandchildren, you will be the one left alone, drowning in the puddle of your tears. Go to hell Martin Wittman!”
With that, she stormed out of the room taking her enraged energy with her, leaving Martin to mull over his life choices. Naturally Martin chose to ignore his ex-girlfriend’s apoplectic sentiments, locking them in the chamber of his brain which was meant to be not thought about for years.
————
Now
Obviously, it was not the last time, Martin saw the mother of his son. But it was definitely the last time she gave him her time of the day. She went on to working for a publishing house, while raising a child who loved her more than anything in the world. William might have been neglected by her father, but never by his mother, maybe that was the reason she was the one who helped plan his wedding, while Martin found out about it when the pictures were posted online.
“Celia, do you ever wish, you could go back in time, and change the way you handled some things?” Martin asked one of the only people that he saw on a daily basis, as she helped him lay down on his bed one night.
Celia was taken aback by the sudden unexpected question by his employer who typically liked to keep to himself. She went to settle on a nearby chair and pondered over it for a minute, then in an enthusiastic tone, she said, “oh, I wish I hadn’t forgotten to turn off the stove last night, my mother was so mad, I rushed into work today to get away from her.”
The young girl’s innocence brought a serendipitous chuckle out of him, casting his mind back to the days when something as trivial as trying to avoid his mother’s scolding would make him want to build a time machine so he could quickly undo his small mistakes. Now he had much bigger wrongs to right.
“Your mother will probably forgive you. That’s what parents do; they just want the best for us.” His mother would have as well, if only he had tried and not waited for her funeral to finally visit his hometown.
Celia simply nodded her head in response and left the room with confused expressions after wishing him a good night. She was not stupid, because of the fact that in her two years of service, Mr. Wittman had never had any close friends or family visit him, she had concluded that there must have been some inexcusable activates done by him in the past that had left him all by himself. But she wasn’t getting paid to care for his emotions, thus, shrugging her shoulders she went back to continue her chores.
On his king-sized bed, covered with linen sheets, Martin closed his eyes, wishing he had at least a few good souvenirs of memories, he could remember before closing his eyes every night. Alas, all he could recall was yelling at his workers and ignoring the calls of his loved ones.
————
Then
Martin got out of the meeting room, feeling relaxed as always, not worrying about the damper he had put on the day, rather months of many people. After gathering his stuff, he entered his office, only to find his brother already there, his stance anxious as usual, making Martin roll his eyes.
“I don’t think it was a wise decision.” Shane blurted out, something hard was present in his eyes.
“What do you mean?” Martin chose to take the oblivious route, even though he knew beforehand how much his brother would protest against his decision, once the board meeting was over.
“You know exactly what I am talking about, we can’t just get rid of a whole department!” Shane pushed, pinching his forehead.
“I showed the stats in the meeting, we will not lose anything. You have to admit, it will be lucrative for the company.” Martin shrugged his shoulders, moving to get himself a drink. The preparation for the meeting had rendered him exhausted, but he was pretty glad, the result was in his favor as everyone had agreed to his decision.
“I am not worried about the company,” Shane ridiculed, “what about the thirty workers who just got unemployed suddenly. They have families to support, how will they find new jobs in such short notice.”
“Look Shane, my loyalty lies with the company that I have worked so hard to build. It is not my concern what happens to the people that are not needed anymore.” Martin kept his expressions neutral, not letting his brother get under his skin.
“But they were doing a fine job! They are more than excellent.” Shane argued, trying to make him see his point.
“Well machine can do much better! We will just be wasting our resources if we pay them for the tasks that can easily be done by a few machines.” He tried to convince his brother calmy, even though it seemed to be of no avail, “I know it feels like I am going out of my way to be cruel, but you have to understand, in order to reach, where we have always wanted to …”
“You always wanted to,” Shane corrected, “honestly, I’ve just been here to support my brother achieve his dream, but lately everything’s going out of hand. I feel like I can’t even recognize the relentless person you have become.” Shane looked…crestfallen – yeah that was probably the best word to describe his state at the moment.
“So, what now? Are you going to leave me alone like our parents?” Martin challenged, taking another route; trying to manipulate the situation into his favor.
“Mom and dad did not abandon you, you shunned them out! When was the last time you even received a call from either one of them?” Shane hissed, then proceeded to take a deep breath to compose himself, “If you want to keep going on like this, it’s your decision. Just don’t expect me to put up with this brutality anymore.” He gave him one last disappointed glare, before sprinting out of the room with saddened eyes.
“Fine! Whatever! I don’t need you anyway! I don’t need anyone!” Martin screamed after him, but by then Shane was long gone, leaving him alone in his soundless office, on the seventh floor of the magnificent glass building.
————
Now
“Did he not take his medicines, what happened?” The nurse asked in a hurried tone as they transferred him to a stretcher from the ambulance.
“I – I don’t think so. I am not sure; he just feel down while eating breakfast and started having a seizure.” Celia stumbled over her words, trying to explain the situation to the staff as they hastened him towards the emergency room. She had seen Martin in quite poor conditions but never as bad as this.
“Shane…William…” They heard him murmur in his daze.
“He keeps saying these random names, I have no idea who they are…” Celia muttered cluelessly, when one of the nurses looked at her questioningly.
“Alright, we are taking him in, you stay here and maybe call his immediate family.” The nurse said, moving him inside the room.
“He doesn’t have any…” Celia whispered but the nurse had already taken him away by then.
Martin may have had gone through the worst attack of his life, causing his body to shut down, but his mind was still awake, reminding him of all the people he had lost from time to time.
“Aria…”
“What happened?” The doctor asked as soon as she entered the room.
“He had a heart attack! His heart isn’t pumping enough blood, we are losing him!” A nurse informed quickly, and the doctor proceeded to give him electric shocks.
There was a time when Martin blamed his childhood for carving his heartless personality, but then what about his sister Martha, who had spent all her life working for a non-profit, standing up for those who couldn’t do it themselves, and Shawn, who was living in the suburbs with his small family, content with whatever he had.
“I…am…sorry.”
At the end it was Martin who made all those choices, and he was aware there was no one to blame but himself.
“Again?” It was asked, but the straight line on the monitor gave them their answer.
“Time of death, eleven forty-seven.”
People are always fussing about time, but it is not the time that we regret but the decisions made, and the actions performed in that time. Time is like water in a lake, a wave never repeats in the same flow, but it is better to utilize it by redeeming and repenting before the lake completely runs out of water.
Featured image:
https://pixabay.com/photos/pocket-watch-classic-antique-book-598039/
